Imposter Stress and Perfectionism

Imposter Stress 

• First coined by Clance and Imes in 1978, the “The term ‘imposter phenomenon’ is used to designate an internal experience of intellectual phoniness.” 
• Recent studies of this phenomenon in institutional life has shown that the IP is prevalent in those who have already achieved a level of success (Clark et al., 2014) 
• Studies have also shown that it is experienced more acutely and severely in students from underrepresented backgrounds in academia
• The condition of navigating Imposter stress is also often referred to as navigating “Imposter Syndrome.” However, we recognize in assessing the studies of the imposter stress phenomenon (across students and demographics) that “syndrome” implies a fully internal psychological condition. 
• Current conversations around imposter stress recognize that external factors like institutional culture, implicit bias, and outdated models for leadership can make certain individuals suffer imposter stress more acutely than others.

How do imposter stress and perfectionism connect? 

• Pervasive feelings of imposter stress and perfectionistic tendencies don’t have to co-occur, but they sometimes do. 
• For example, someone can have severe imposter stress but not have maladaptive perfectionism, and vice versa.
• However, especially for graduate students, the two can co-occur and even impact one another’s degree of severity. 
• Graduate students have already achieved a high level of success and accomplishment–it’s not easy to get into grad school! With this comes the double whammy of having a smaller, more selective pool of peers who are also used to having high standards for themselves, and learning a new skill, research area, and modes of writing that they simply haven’t learned before. Note: that’s because they didn’t have to yet!
• It is difficult for perfectionists to accept apprentice mindsets, the growth mindset that accepts failures and mistakes will occur, imperfect drafts will be written, a lack of knowledge will be shown. But that’s the point of graduate school: if you knew how to do all this already, you would have a PhD.
• Imposter stress in graduate school is the high-cost of joining programs that serve as a funnel for future faculty hires, industry opportunities, and whatever else you want to do with your degree. Moreover, your role models are accomplished faculty and senior mentors who are already more accomplished than you. 
• While it’s natural to feel like “you don’t belong,” adopting the apprentice mindset can afford you the space to ask questions, seek feedback, and learn your skills and trade so you can offer your ideas to the world!

Strategies for Writing through Imposter Stress and Perfectionism

Before jumping into the ten strategies below, I’ll reiterate that graduate students can feel intense, possibly debilitating, feelings of imposter stress and not suffer from maladaptive perfectionism, and vice versa. But we can see from the points above and from the literature that both are framed in the mindset of the person in pretty much entirely negative terms: “I don’t belong; this isn’t good enough.” Comparisons are often faulty because we’re comparing ourselves to other who have different conditions and backgrounds, or we’re comparing our work and worth to idealized standards because we’re not doing the real work of seeking external comparisons. 

The following strategies serve as low-stakes efforts that you can do right now, after reading this, one at a time, a couple at a time, or in a total reframe: 

1. Remind yourself that only you can write your project.

   Whatever your concerns may be about your writing and communication, only you can create the project you envision. Other people may have better x, y, or z, but it is your combination of skills, experience, passion, creativity, and determination that got you to this point. Something triggered a passion and a pathway for you to apply and go to grad school; reflect on that point and remind yourself that only you can do your project the way you think and write. And that’s what makes it innovative and unique.

2. Talk with lots of other graduate students.

   Calibrating your expectations and experiences with both peer and advance-stage graduate students in your program and at your institution if vital. It allows you to realize when you’re being too critical of yourself. It also helps normalize the feelings of nebulousness and uncertainty that go hand-in-hand with long form and long term writing projects. Moreover, if you have advisors with whom you’re not sure how to connect or communicate, you can ask other students who have worked or are currently working with them on tips for navigating conversations, meetings, even prospectus defenses. Graduate school teaches us that we can’t do it all alone; it’s a humbling lesson that allows you to become an excellent writer in a community of scholars, because you will be able to accept help and feedback more readily.  

3. Notice when comparisons arise.

   It’s normal to compare your work, accomplishments, and life to other graduate students and people in your department. But notice when you are over-generalizing what you perceive to be a token of perfectionism in others: we all reveal only parts of ourselves in our professional and social spaces; what you infer to be a perfect model of a paper or person can be flawed rationale that you’re using to beat yourself up. Notice when you start comparing, and ask yourself: what perceived flaws am I castigating myself for in this moment? Is this something I can work on for myself? Can I give this person the grace of being human under cover? 

4. Treat writing as thinking, not as a final product to thinking. 

   Note-taking software, pieces of paper, the Notes app on your cell phone: find informal ways to document your ideas whenever you have them. Break free of the imperative to only sit and type out text when you think you have a complete idea in your head. As a faculty member on a recent “How Faculty Write” GWL panel noted, the work, even when it’s published, is never finished. It’s just finished because you can move on to something else. If you treat writing as thinking in typed or handwritten (or spoken Speech to Text) form, you’re more likely to be flexible about the roots of the ideas, and to write them down more often and in various spaces. 

5. Create for yourself a designated writing spot.

   for wherever and whenever you may be (on campus or at home). This can help motivate you to write just a little bit when you don’t feel like it. Speaking of feeling like it….

6. “forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable.” 

   A quote from Octavia Bulter reprinted in the 1995 collection “Bloodchild: And Other Stories.” Literally thousands of self-help guides talk about habit as the thing that makes or breaks someone’s progress; Butler writes: “Habit is persistence in practice.” We advocate for the 15 minutes of writing inspired by James Clear’s Atomic Habits. Why? 15 minutes is less scary than 30, or 2 hours, or a whole day. Making it a small daily action built into your schedule (and space) can create for you a sustainable practice over time, whether or not you’re still comparing yourself to others and picking over finer details in your draft. 

7. Seek informal feedback from friendly peers.

   Do you know who isn’t allowed to mock your work or make you feel inferior to the annals of previous publications? Your friendly graduate writing consultants, who are grad students just like you. They like you, they’re curious about your work, and they’re given trainings, resources, and opportunities for deep reflective conversations about how to meet writers where they currently are in their process, and work with you to develop your ideas in a way that makes sense for you and your project. If you don’t have access to a graduate writing center or graduate student mentors, ask a friend in your department or broader cohort to read over a few pages at a time. Return the favor. Congratulations, you’re now in a peer-review writing group.

8. Learn how to receive and respond to feedback.

   People who suffer from extreme perfectionism often received uneven feedback (unreasonably harsh criticism coupled with unreasonably high praise, for example) growing up. It is important to take stock of how you tend to react to critical feedback–feedback that is meant to make your writing stronger–as much as how you react to (and anticipate) praise. Use this fantastic GWL guide on Giving and Receiving Feedback to start that process, and consider asking leading questions for areas you’d like for your feedback-giver to focus on so that you can steer the conversation a bit. 

9. Designate different roles for your dissertation committee members. 

   Don’t rely on all of your committee members to give you the same level of feedback, or even the same kind. In A Field Guide to Grad School: Uncovering the Hidden Curriculum (2020), Jessica McCrory Calarco advises graduate students to identify unique roles for your committee members and actively involve other faculty and peer mentors in your feedback, support, and networking orbit. For example, you might have one committee member whom you can share “zero drafts” and ideas with; another committee member who is an expert on an aspect of your research project who can give you guidance in that area, etc…

10. Set designated meeting times with your advisor.

    Regardless of where you are in your internal and external deadlines, meeting regularly with your advisor takes care of a host of issues related to your growth as a writer and your dissertation writing progress. Whether it’s once a month or on a weekly basis, in-person or online, putting something on the books affords you the luxury of not having to have a “polished” draft or chapter to send to your advisor. Even better, they don’t have to read 20-30 pages amidst their busy research, teaching, and family lives before getting back to you. Use or adapt this meeting template to set structure to your prep, meeting time, and post-meeting plans; send them questions ahead of time to focus their feedback, along with any useful drafts and articles. Follow up after the meeting to clarify and concretize next steps. They won’t do it for you!